| the ol' "crush craze" |
[Mar. 2nd, 2004|07:48 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  quixotic | ] |
5:26pm (still 10/22/99)
I am at home now. I'm still hung up on that guy. I now know of several times where I can see him throughout the day: 1) after 2nd period, at lunch, after lunch, and if I change my usual route- then after homeroom. He is the most beautiful guy I have seen. He's not the type of cute like every girl likes him, or he's a football player or anything like that. He's just naturally cute- like he doesn't try to be. He has this beautiful hair (dark brown), in which if he ever buts it shorter I will DIE. And these wonderful greenish/bluish (not sure which one) eyes. If I could just find out his name, that would be so great. Even just that.
* In other news, my right had hurts like hell because my sister kicked it. That may explain why my writing is so messed up. Well, I'm gonna go now. I'm getting pretty tired again. |
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| everything but geography |
[Feb. 2nd, 2004|01:09 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bored | ] |
10/22/99- 3 minutes to noon
I am in Geography now. I just had this urge to write, since last period. A kid just got a bloody nose in this class a few minutes ago. I saw some of it. It was pretty gross. Anyway, I really want to know what that kid in the hallway's name is. I don't even have any classes with him! That totally sucks. I think I am experiencing love at first sight. Oh no, wait, I have the same lunch period with him. WOW. And I don't even sit near him. Well hopefully i have some classes with him next semester or at least next year. Well GTG. Class is almost over. |
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| it's the little things...... |
[Feb. 2nd, 2004|12:44 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  content | ] |
10/21/99- 4:49pm
Today (so far) was basically just perfect. I started the morning feeling mad, though, because I was in the middle of a traumatic dream that was in the process of getting better, but in the process, Jacquie came in my room and woke me up, and I couldn't go back 2 sleep. Then I went into the bathroom to do my hair. That went without any problems, which is very rare 4 me. So I had a good hair day! That made me feel happy + energized in the morning. I guess if I feel good in the morning, that mood affects me throughout the day. That's good. I took a french test, and I actually did OK on that. Then in lunch I had an extra nickel, so that gave me enough money 2 buy a pack of Starburst. Some other things I forgot 2 mention about this awesome day:
1) I have no homework whatsoever and
2) There is this guy I have seen around school who looks pretty damn much like Brad Renfro, and he wasn't at school all week, but he was today! I don't know his name, and he doesn't know me, but it's great to just follow him.
And to end the perfect school day, Bogdan ran into me today! Let me explain. Ever since about 6 or 7 months or so, he began making fun of me and saying that I've been going out with this kid Tom M. I used to hate his guts for that. But I have deveolped a crush on him since then. He still keeps making fun of me, even now. And when he does, I either A) try to hurt him in some way (when a girl does that to a guy, that usually shows they like them, but he's too clueless to know that) B) ot make a wisecrack towards him.
So I'm walking out of the building, carefully making sure he is somewhere near me or behind me. he catches up to me and says, "So how's Tom?" for the billionth time this year. He knows whats coming next, so he moves to the side as I try to hit him with my purse. I know it didn't hurt him (it usually does when I do hit him, but today, for some reason I wasn't worried about that). We keep walking beside each other, and I say, "I can't believe it's been like, 6 months and you still remember that." And he says, "Well, I know you still love him." And he walks away. The thing is, we were smiling through this whole ordeal. We always do that. I guess that's another "sign". I know he likes me, he just doesn't wanna admit it. Otherwise he wouldn't go through all that trouble to tease me. I think my freind Dean is on his bus (I really hope), so I can tell him to give Bogdan this note from me saying "Bogdan Loves Tom," and some other funny stuff on it. It's gonna be hilarious! And lastly, another reason its a good day is because of the prefect weather. Well I'm gonna go now. May write again tonite, or tommorrow. |
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| school woes |
[Jan. 22nd, 2004|04:01 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | discontent | ] |
10/18/99- 8:16pm
I really wish I had my stuff back. On Friday, the quarter ends, and that means report cards. I am unsure about most of my grades. This is what I'm guessing my report card will be like:
Math- F (hopefully at least a D)
English- B (I already know this)
French- I have no idea but probably a C or under
Geography- probably a B or C! (From a D)
Science- Hopefully a low C, but probably a high D
Gym- probably between a B or C.
All I know is that this whole week I am going to study my butt off and do all my work and, well, you know the deal; so I can get my grades as high as they can go. Anyway, let me try to to think about grades for now.
What REALLY sucks majorly is this whole thing with guys lately. They tend to think I'm invisible. That's basically the answer I've found out in a short amount of time. I don't know how to fix this at the moment, especially since I find it hard to change the way I am. But it just sucks. |
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| mommie dearest |
[Jan. 22nd, 2004|03:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  frustrated | ] |
10/16/99- 9:02am
I feel sorry for anyone who doesn't stop to appreciate the finer things in life. I mean, for instance, who would clean the house on thier day off? Especially if it really doesn't need any cleaning? This may sound like a notbebook against my mom, but it isn't. But there are so many things she does that aren't really working for her and have no meaning. But I guess there is no point in writing this because she will never change her ways. Once you've acted a certain way for 40- no- about 30 (not counting the years that my real dad was married to her- then she was really nice) years, you really can't change yourself. Unless you really want to.
Right now, I think the perfect life for me would be this: to live with my dad in a part of the area where I would be going to Argo (high school)(oh gosh, how I wish I went to Argo), and my sisters would be living with my mom & Ron (since they love them so much). Then I'd have complete happiness and privacy. Oh yeah, it could happen. (Now it's beginning to sound like a McDonald's commerical.) Yeah, it could happen, if my mom would even let me live with my dad. That is something I've wanted to go since the day my parents go divorce, because that is the day she began acting so mean! My freinds can't even believe what I go through evey day with her! I don't understand why she won't let me live with my dad. I mean, I KNOW she hates me. I don't care how many things she buys me- she calls me names (horrible ones too), beats the hell out of me (like it will do anything except leave me depressed with bruises), peeks through my private life, makes fun of me, and she wonders why I say I'm mistreated! I try to change, but she won't notice until I'm perfect! If she would just let me live with my dad she wouldn't have to deal with me anymore. Well, that's enough stuff about my mom for now. I've made it perfectly clear what she's like and how I'm feeling. I will try not to write much about her because it makes me depressed. Now I'm going to concentrate on my own life, and write about that. |
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| it starts.... |
[Jan. 14th, 2004|04:33 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  creative | ] |
10/15/99- Friday- around 10:08pm or so
Freshman year of high school- age 14
This is a notebook about me. I am going to write down all my thoughts and feelings and all the things I'm going through. Mom, if you're reading this, please don't, because even if I don't have the best grades in the world, they are better than some other kids I know. And even if someone has bad grades, they should still have the right to write down thier feelings and express themselves if that is their desire. The reason I don't want you to read this, is because these are my private thoughts and I don't feel I can take to you or tell you about anything at this moment. I'm sorry, but that's the way I feel towards you. I don't appreciate you pawing through my personal life. If you want to know about some things about me and my life, ask me nicely, as a friend, and don't yell at me, and I will gladly tell you. But if I don't wish to tell you, because it's too personal and I don't think you'd undersand, you should respect that. Well, I am going to bed soon, so I should be going. I will write more tommorrow. |
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